Alright, so I celebrated this past Friday the 13th by making the journey to the movie theater and took in Joss Whedon’s latest film “Cabin In The Woods”. I do have a few spoilers, so if you haven’t seen it or are sensitive to spoilers don’t read this fucking review. Thanks!

There, now that you’re caught up, STOP reading this review and go out and fucking see this movie. I just want to start this whole process off by saying that it’s incredible. Funny, smart, scary and over-the-top gory, the fact that you aren’t seeing this right now instead of doing whatever it is you’re currently doing is a disgrace.

So, the movie opens with a genuinely great opening credit sequence, it was strange to see the word “A Mutant Enemy Production” without a small cartoon monster hopping across the screen saying “URGH ARRRGH” , but I digress. The credit sequence ends extremely abruptly and we are suddenly in an office complex and some really cryptic conversations happen, then a smash on title and we’re suddenly floating into the window of a young girl without pants on. All around a strange opening, and a little disorienting really. However, we meet our cast of beautiful young people, including Thor, and the loveable stoner and the movie sets itself up as a run-of-the-mill “teenagers fuck in the woods and get killed horribly” movie, but only for about ten minutes.

This movie is such a fun play on the genre, and you will have a great time watching it. It’s exactly what seeing a movie in the theater is supposed to be all about. Pure entertainment and escapism. The only issue that I had with this movie was something I only assume was a joke in the first place involving a poorly-placed “big red button” , but I won’t say much more than that. The movie has some moments bordering on existential and really is smarter than you might assume just watching the trailer. The pacing is perfect, the characters are like able, and the finale of the film is the most bat-shit insane blood bath that I’ve had the pleasure of sitting through since the scene in the first of the Piranha reboots during the party when the piranhas just massacre everyone.

Bottom line, if you’re going to go out and see a movie, make it this one. If you choose 3 Stooges over this then I hate you forever and you are no longer welcome here. God bless you Joss Whedon for restoring my faith in cinema, and getting me more excited for The Avengers.

Also, when I saw it, I was graced with this trailer, which might be the funniest trailer of the year. Holy crap, I almost died in my seat watching it.

Alright, that’s it. Thought I’d keep it brief. I just wanted to put out in the world that this movie is not like you expect, and is in no way at all by-the-numbers. Genuinely surprising and fun. See it!